Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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