the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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