And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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