we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she smelled like a LAN party
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize