I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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