her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
