she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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