You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
