he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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