i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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