Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
