oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize