is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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