I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
