They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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