oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
