Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
