I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize