Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
