Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
