And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
