it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
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apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.