he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
