He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
