508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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