So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
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"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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