When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I got inside last night via doggy door
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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