well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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