His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't turn off my feet"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The uberlube is also flammable
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
