i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
