I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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