I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
