she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
