I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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