Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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