can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
