Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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