you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize