worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
