I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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