Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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