she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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