I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
