So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
