Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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