god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize