Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
