So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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