38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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