hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
