dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
