my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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