$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
