Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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